When we consider a human being in relation to himself and in relation to other people, identity is the superior regulator of the psychosocial functioning of the individual.
Violation of separateness and coherence of identity has a destructive impact on the emotional well-being and self-esteem.
It is not surprising, therefore, that we employ a whole range of mechanisms, making every effort to ensure that our image of ourselves remains intact.
We establish complex blockades and systems to prevent conflict awareness
and threatening aspects of mental life and to neutralize mental discomfort
by defending the idealized image of self. We call those “defence mechanisms”. They are natural strategies of the mind designed to protect us from difficult, hard or unacceptable experiences.
However, things don't just disappear - rejected experience, pushed into
the subconscious, sooner or later finds its way out. Denying uncomfortable memories gives a momentary illusion of stability, but eventually comes back twice as strong, like the hydra's heads growing back.
When avoiding confrontation, we live in the conviction that we are in control
of things. And then, in the worst possible moment, it turns out that the wall we have built with so much effort, is only a mock-up, a barricade made of Lego blocks.